If it makes you feel any better . . .

. . . I'm doing great.

Ok, that's not entirely true. The point is usually when you hear that phrase it's followed by bad news.

Why?

Why would any friend or family member be made to feel better by hearing how bad their loved one is doing? Am I really expected to feel better knowing you are having a crumby time too? If you really want to make me feel better, tell me how well you are doing. Tell me something, happy news.

If you want to make me feel better tell me how great your day is going.

If you are trying to lend me perspective I appreciate the effort. Truly I do. But relating your bad news as though life were a competition to have the worse day isn't really going to make me say to myself 'Gee, life ain't so bad after all.'

If you want to lend me perspective show me life is beautiful. Show me the trials and tribulations are knowledge and experience in embryo. Show me how small they are compared to the good things. Show me that no matter what, I still got you.

This is not how empathy works. To effectively empathize one must put themselves in the position of another. This works even better if one has similar personal experiences. Empathy is not a contest of who has it worse.

If I relate a personal tragedy in my life, great or small, and you want to empathize try relating a similar personal experience and how you survived and were a better person for it.

I will never derive joy from the suffering of a friend.

Life will not always be persimmons, but let us bear the difficult times together, lifting one another up.

Friends on the Shelf

Think about your dear friend aspirin.

You really wouldn't want to live without it, but your relationship is parasitic.

When life is good your friend aspirin sits in its bottle on the self, out of sight, out of mind.

Maybe you'll maintain a casual relationship, checking the expiration date, or making sure there's still some aspirin in the bottle.

As long as life is good, you don't really care.

But when that pain comes, and it always does in life, you run for that bottle.

What sweet peace comes from knowing that your dear friend aspirin is there for you, even though you are not there for it.

Now think of your friends. How many of them are nothing more than a bottle of aspirin to you? Or to how many of them are you the bottle?

I know I'm some people's bottle. I can also think of a few people I keep around as a bottle.

Now, I don't really mind being someone's bottle of aspirin, but am ashamed to think I use some people like that.

Why do I abhor taking advantage of others but am disposed to willfully allow my self to be taken advantage of?

It is flattering to me that someone would turn to me in a time of need. Those are vulnerable times, and to turn to someone usually requires a fair amount of trust (except in times of desperation).

Plus, I have had seasons of pain in my life, and many of those were spent alone. I know how it feels. And while I hold those moments dear because they have in a large part formed the person I am, but I would not wish them upon anyone.

For that reason I'll sit on the shelf until needed.

Yet, I'm not content to maintain the aspirin bottle relationships in my life. I think if people are good enough for me to call in bad times, they are good enough for me to call in the good times too. I want to either build up those relationships, or cut them off completely.

And I'm not about to start giving up friends.

How about you?

Forgive me my arteries . . .

But I love my Taste-buds more.

I know than no one moves that precious fluid of life quite like you do, but I just can't get the same excitement and pleasure with you as I do with them whilst eating this grease burger.

Because, in the long run, instant gratification is more important to me than lasting satisfaction.

And as that pain in my chest radiates through my left arm I will think of thee, oh grease burger, and the time you and I had, all six minuets of it.

And as I slouch to the floor I will meet my end with one more thought most poetic:

'My life was a waste, but oh what a taste!'

After all, why live for the rest of my life when I can live for today?

Irony and Tyranny

Remember, remember the fifth of November
The gunpowder, treason, and plot
I know of no reason the gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot.

For those unaware, today is a most important day. First, it is Guy Fawkes day. Second, it is the day America fully learned the outcome of the elections.

Before I rant, let me just reiterate my previous sentiments that I'm thrilled a black man was taken seriously in this race for the presidency. I think it is wonderful a black man has been chosen to be the 44th president.

I weep that that black man was Obama.

Guy Fawkes is relatively unknown in the US, and that is because he is a British figure of heroism / infamy. On the fifth of November, 1506, Guy was discovered guarding a stash of some 1800 pounds of gunpowder in a cellar beneath the House of Lords.

His intention was to blow up the House of Lords are the commencement of Parliament, effectively removing those in power from office.

His band of Catholic that conceived and enacted this plot did so because they had run out of options. They knew no outside power would help them. They were essentially on their own against very bad odds.

In his subsequent trial and torture Guy revealed no relevant information. He was hanged, drawn, and quartered. From then on the evening of November fifth has been known and 'Guy Fawkes' or 'Bonfire Night' in reference to the effigies of guy that are burned.

This is done to celebrate the foiling of the plot.

Some of us, however, remember and celebrate for other reasons.

Just as desperate times call for desperate measures, different times call for different measures.

I'm not about encouraging violence (though I recognize the need arises from time to time as a last resort) or assassination plots (though I predict there are many a brewing). I think a war of words and actions are to be used in the fullest extent possible before investing in the last resort.

I am about change. I am about rebellion against the forces of oppression. I am about fighting the good fight. And I am about to start right now.

As I look to Guy of the past, and the US government of the future, I can't help but to see the similarities.

People like me are on the verge of oppression. We must now realize that we live in a nation where a majority of the citizens have willingly begun the process of handing off their rights.

Like Guy we lay in the cellar atop a (figurative) powder keg, out numbered and out gunned, with no hope of outside help.

This is the moment of truth. But instead of clenching my fists and railing against things I cannot change I will conserve my energy. I will reaffirm my inner-convictions of the things I believe. I will ready myself for the inevitable. I will prepare for the fight.

Friends, lets not whine and moan and complain about the things we cannot change (read: those in control of the presidency, congress, and house for the next few years). Instead, let us focus on the things we can change.

Ready?

Set?

. . .

Thoughts on a Most Important Election Day

On this most brisk November fourth, I'm the idiot walking around without a jacket, wearing shorts, a T.S.O.L. t-shirt, and a little LED badge telling people to vote.

Yeah, I'm a little on edge today. But its more about the citizens than the politicians for me.

First off, I don't really care is people disagree with my opinions. That's part of living critically: examining every issue from more than one viewpoint. But dammit, leave my yard signs alone!

I appreciate your passion, oh thou thief of my yard sign, but please do not trespass or touch my property. Common courtesy, I think.

But know this: That sign you stole, was replaced by, not one, but three.

The voting booths have been quite full today, based on my limited observation. This both encourages and scares the hell out of me.

I love people exercising their right to have their voice heard. I feel the two most severe Sins of Democracy are informed people not voting and uniformed people voting. And while I can't say for certain that someone I don't know is informed or uninformed, I fear we are increasingly living in an uninformed populous.

But in the information age, how is one uninformed? They simply accept what is told to them by their media outlets without thinking for themselves.

There are a lot of solutions the political could-be's serve up to the voting populous.

Of course, the solutions are proffered in shiny and exciting packaging with no price tag affixed.

I fear our addiction to media has created a crowd of political three year-olds making Christmas lists while thumbing through Toy-R-Us catalogs without ever pausing to consider the cost or impact of these wondrous diversions.

Maybe political ads should carry the same warning as ads for alcohol: Please vote responsibly.

Two of my friends voted for the first time today. Neither are 18. But both Nick and Danielle cast their virginity stealing vote after thoroughly examining the issues at hand.

Friends, in light of today's performance, thy past sins against democracy have been forgiven.

People need to stop assuming that just because I'm not voting for Obama that I'm a republican voting for McCain.

I know the talking heads provide you with but two entrees, but the United States political system actually offers its citizens a buffet of political parties.

Did you know that in recent history more than 20 political parties have promoted officially recognized presidential candidates? Now tell me the media isn't pigeon holing us as voters by presenting only two parties.

Then again, no one is stopping you from learning about the other parties and deciding if one may be a better fit for you than the old elephant and jack-ass.

Personally I believe in the ideology of the Libertarian party.

No, not liberal, Libertarian.

I am not throwing my vote away by voting for Bob Barr.

Do I truly believe that Barr will win the presidency? No. But while my vote today will not put a Libertarian in the White House, it will draw attention to my party and our cause.

My vote for Barr is my proclamation to the nation that I want more than two parties. I want more choice.

I'm glad there's a black candidate that's being taken seriously for the presidency. I am sorry that he's Obama though. His change isn't the kind I want.

Finally, if Obama wins at least Aug 4 will become a new national holiday.

I mean, who wouldn't love one more day away from the daily grind?

Too bad someone's going to have to die for us to get it.